Would you care if someone were to steal your identity?

Jesse James Burnitt: Hell, yes, I would care! I’ve worked long and hard to fabricate this identity. It’s mine! Go make up your own.

Ben Rosch: I would only like it if I could trade up for a new identity—obviously something better than my identity now.

Rachel Scott: Which identity? I have several … um, I mean, hell, no! If they want my bad credit, bankruptcy and JC Penney charge card from 1976, let ‘em at it!

James Reifenberger: I wouldn’t care too much. They cannot use my credit much less spell my last name if they were asked. They might end up in a worse situation than before they started.

Derek Carlisle: If it helps a kid named Jesus get across the border and chill with some prostitutes, then yeah, of course— it’s Jesus.

Susan Kruithof: I’m not sure why anyone would want to be me. My credit score is so low, the thief couldn’t get a bus pass let alone a credit card with my good name.

Larry Carter: Hell, yeah, I’d care. I’d start a witch hunt until I found the sorry S.O.B.

Nick Clark: My actual identity is not dictated by my account number and PIN.

Paula Saltas: Can they steal it by Thanksgiving? I’d like to get out of that, please.

Marty Foy: Depends on if they did anything cool with it.