Five different movies attempt to coexist here: two rom-coms, a family drama, a grossout comedy and a May-December platonic melodrama. Connecting these disparate—though all equally inert—tales? Sexual innuendo, stilted humor, sloppy sentiment, implausible human interaction, sunny Los Angeles settings (often bafflingly CGI’d) ... and dogs! Barista Vanessa Hudgens finds a stray, and finds herself caught between hot veterinarian Michael Cassidy and schubby no-kill shelter owner Jon Bass. Morning-TV host Nina Dobrev might be able to fall for cheeky new coworker Tone Bell—her dog has already fallen for his dog—if only she can stop being so uptight. Crotchety old man Ron Cephas Jones bonds with teenager Finn Wolfhard over his missing dog. It gets worse from there. Any would-be romantic scene that turns cringeworthy—like, say, if the actors have no chemistry whatsoever and it’s painful watching them pretend to be attracted to each other—can be fixed with a cut to an adorable chihuahua looking on in googly-eyed bewilderment, right? Nope. Dogs cannot fix this. This is—sorry—simply pawful.
Director: Ken Marino
Producer: Mickey Liddell, Pete Shilaimon, Jennifer Monroe, Alison Semenza King, Nicole Stojkovich, Scott Holroyd and Michael Glassman
Cast: Nina Dobrev, Vanessa Hudgens, Adam Pally, Eva Longoria, Rob Corddry, Tone Bell, Jon Bass, Michael Cassidy, Finn Wolfhard, Ron Jones, Thomas Lennon, Tig Notaro, Lauren Lapkus, Jessica St. Clair, Ryan Hansen, Tony Cavalero, Jessica Lowe, Mo Gaffney, Jasmine Jones, Elizabeth Caro, Casey Deidrick, Phoebe Neidhardt, John Gemberling, Arielle Vandenberg, Toks Olagundoye, David Wain and Matt Cordova