Eight Utah Budget Proposals | The Ocho | Salt Lake City | Salt Lake City Weekly
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News » The Ocho

Eight Utah Budget Proposals

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Eight budget proposals to help offset Utah’s $320 million deficit:

8. Public libraries to reduce inventory to People and the works of Ayn Rand.

7. Potholes to be filled with materials from the state´s recycling program. And cats.

6. School weeks to be cut from five days to “whatever you can swing; it’s cool.”

5. State mental patients to be released and employed by “going out of business” sandwich-board companies.

4. State prisoners to be released and employed by “going out of business” sandwich-board companies to wrangle wandering mental patients.

3. State Wine Store to charge an on-the-spot corking fee. then an on-the-spot re-corking fee.

2. A whole lotta Google ads on Utah.gov.

1. let “evil” federal stimulus money ride on one “blessed” Blackjack hand in Wendover.