For most politicians, communication is everything. While their talking points may not always be elegant, they usually get their message across. Some politicians, however, have been known to put pen to paper. As authors, their prose says more about their political worldview than any sound bite ever could. Check out these literary works by Utah candidates:
The Great and Terrible Series
By Chris Stewart
Republican candidate for U.S. House 2nd Congressional District (running against Democrat Jay Seegmiller)
In an epic six-part series, would-be Congressman Stewart creates an LDS-themed vision of the apocalypse that spans the pre-mortal existence through the latter days.
The pivotal third book in the six-part series, The Second Sun provides a look at Stewart’s vision of the end, focusing on a few wholesome LDS heroes such Gen. Neil Brighton and his son, a clean-cut Mormon commando working for a Delta Forces unit deep in the Middle East.
The foe in this series is the evil Saudi King Abdullah (didn’t he wrestle Hulk Hogan once?) and his mentor, Satan, who helps him turn the world against the United States and sneak a nuke aboard a plane bound for Washington, D.C.
The story is adequately written LDS end-days porn generously sprinkled with quotes from LDS scriptures, along with good imagery. Abdullah has a poignant relationship with Satan reminiscent of Darth Vader and the Emperor from Star Wars, while hero Sam Brighton has a telling moment where he reflects on being a hero. “We find and kill the enemy. That is a day’s work to us. Is that evil? It can’t be. Not when it’s for the right cause. Was Captain Moroni a hero? Darn straight he was.”
Published by Deseret Book 2010, Vol. 1-6, Paperback $49.99
Peace on Earth: A Mystical Path to Personal Choice
Libertarian candidate for governor (running against Republican incumbent Gov. Gary Herbert and Democrat Peter Cooke)
In another yarn of Middle East intrigue—this time with a happier ending—Larsen, a 72-year-old retired mall Santa Claus, writes a tale of a mall Santa Claus—also named Ken—who has a near-death experience, is given God-like powers by Jesus and sent to make peace in the Middle East.
It’s a page-turner based on bizarreness alone—especially the part where the main character randomly becomes a polygamist, after meeting two courtesans offered for his pleasure, named Ying and Yang. The first night of meeting them, the magical Santa decides to treat himself to both, declaring:
“I believe one mystic once said there is great joy in knowing ying and yang simultaneously. He was right.”
Published by IUniverse Inc. 2011, print on demand, list price $12.95
“Sometimes a Man Comes” from My Nature Is Hunger
Justice Party candidate for U.S. vice president (running on the ticket with presidential candidate Rocky Anderson)
Perhaps the finest wordcraft to come from a party with local ties comes from the pen of Rodriguez, the vice-presidential candidate to the party formed by former Salt Lake City Mayor Rocky Anderson. This poem, dedicated to leaders and teachers who work for the benefit of others, speaks for itself. Here’s an excerpt:
“Sometimes a man comes who holds unfathomable sorrows in his eyes
And sacrifices what no one else will dare for the law of eagles.
Sometimes we are awakened petals because of such a man, such a woman,
Such a human being, architects of tender tasks.
This man is our blessing way, our stilled blood, singing bones,
Graveyard tears, cracked shells, secret errors, terrible triumphs, and wild moons.”
From the poetry collection My Nature Is Hunger (2009 Curbstone Press/Rattle Edition).
Election Guide 2012: