Election Issue 2008 | Election Ocho: Eight handwriting-analysis findings from “Superdell” Schanze’s declaration of candidacy application for governor of Utah | News | Salt Lake City | Salt Lake City Weekly
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Election Issue 2008 | Election Ocho: Eight handwriting-analysis findings from “Superdell” Schanze’s declaration of candidacy application for governor of Utah

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8. “Superdell” scrawled in all-caps: Suggests Messiah Complex and/or Cartoon Supervillian Syndrome.

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7. Backward slant of last name: Indicates emotional withdrawal, coupled with mild constipation.

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6. Awkwardly inserted first name: Points to suppressed inner self desiring to separate from the outer loon.

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5. Exaggerated “G” in “Governor”: Connotes mental relationship with God, or G. Gordon Liddy.

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4. Angular slant of “Libertarian”: Illustrates feeling of acceptance by the Libertarian Party, a highly exclusive and discerning group.

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3. Gnarled nature of “Sandy”: Expresses doubt that subject will be allowed back within city limits.

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2. Swooping signature: Reveals homosexual leanings, or proclivity for tiny mustaches.

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1. Lieutenant Governor’s seal: Indicates State’s willingness to allow any insane motherfucker to run for office.