Eight to-do list items you still need to get to before the summer is over:
8. Cram in at least one more “Special Issue” to upsell (City Weekly only).
7. Get off lawn, as per cranky old man next door’s request.
6. Draft written apology to Raging Waters employees for unfortunate June 12 “Cooter Flash” incident.
5. Record final episode of My Kick-Ass Summer in Uncle Jim’s Basement! podcast.
4. Get lost in the mountains on a weekend hike, as required of all Utahns.
3. Clean out the DVR and see what all the fuss over this Jersey Shore is about.
2. Make appointments for STD checkup and full-frontal lobotomy, re: Jersey Shore.
1. Keep approval rating above 40 percent nationwide; 5 percent in Utah (Barack Obama only).