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LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
I came across a Website called “The Common Man’s Book of World Records.” It lists triumphs that have been ignored by the more famous Guinness Book. It tells us that Basel Nevins licked an asphalt road for 77 minutes straight, establishing an unsurpassed benchmark. Melissa Lassitter set the world record for number of hoagies crammed into a bra, with eight; Glen Schlacknik did an astounding 5,216 squat-thrusts on an escalator in one session; and Charles Zenk threw a mailbox 33 feet. In the coming week, I invite you to be inspired by these unsung masters, Libra. According to my reading of the omens, you’re primed to achieve peaks of accomplishment that few others have even attempted.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
According to Jewish legend, there are in each generation 36 righteous humans who prevent the rest of us from being destroyed. Through their extraordinary good deeds and their love of the divine spark, they save the world over and over again. They’re not famous saints, though. They go about their business anonymously, and no one knows how crucial they are to our well-being. Might you be one of the 36? I bet you’ll be acting like one of them in the coming week. Your capacity for disseminating blessings will be astounding. The ripples of benevolence you initiate could ultimately go around the planet and return to you.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
In his book The Medusa and the Snail, science writer Lewis Thomas said that the English word “error” developed from a root meaning “to wander about, looking for something.” That’s why he liked Darwin’s idea that error is the driving force in evolution. I think this wandering-about-looking-for-something approach should be the driving force in your personal evolution, Sagittarius. The coming weeks will be a great time to meander and get distracted and stumble upon unexpected opportunities. May all your mutations have a positive spin! (P.S. Lewis also wrote this: “The capacity to blunder slightly is the real marvel of DNA. Without this special attribute, we would still be anaerobic bacteria and there would be no music.”)

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
I predict you will have 32 dreams as you sleep in the coming week. In at least five of those adventures, you will be offered a chance to wield a magic hammer like the one that belonged to the Norse god Thor. You’re under no obligation to use it, of course. But if you do, it could help you smite dream adversaries, from stupid giants to evil ducks to rash-covered devils. You could also take advantage of it to build things, like a dream house or a dream boat. The proper use of the hammer will be a constant test, since you’ll have to be ever-alert and adaptable as you decide whether to employ it for destruction or creation.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
“Why, I don’t even respect myself, I tell ya,” said comedian Rodney Dangerfield. “When I make love, I have to fantasize that I am somebody else!” Your assignment, Aquarius, is to experiment with just the second half of that formulation. In other words, while you’re making love, fantasize that you’re somebody else. But do it because you care deeply about yourself—so deeply that you want to transcend your customary reactions and expand your identity. Do it because you dare to awaken to previously unknown possibilities of who you might be. By the way, this exercise will yield even better results if you not only play with experimental self-images when you’re doing the wild thing, but all the rest of the time as well.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)
In her book Zen Miracles, Brenda Shoshanna defines the “shadow” as being the unacceptable aspects of ourselves that we dump into our unconscious minds. As we avoid looking at that hidden stuff, it festers. Meanwhile, we project it onto people we know, imagining that they possess the qualities we’re repressing. The antidote to this problem, says Shoshanna, is to “eat our shadow”—haul it up from out of the pit and develop a conscious connection with it. Doing so not only prevents our unacknowledged darkness from haunting our thoughts and distorting our relationships; it also liberates tremendous psychic energy. I’m telling you this, Pisces, because it’s an excellent time to eat your shadow.

Go to RealAstrology.com for Rob Brezsny’s expanded weekly audio horoscopes and daily text-message horoscopes. Audio horoscopes also available by phone at 877-873-4888 or 900-950-7700.