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LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
Why do people have sex? A study by the University of Texas found that there are 237 reasons, from “I wanted to communicate at a deeper level” to “I wanted to boost my self-esteem” to “I wanted to be closer to God.” According to my research, Libra, you’re likely to be motivated by as many as 25 of those factors in the coming weeks, way up from your average of eight. We might logically conclude, then, that you may seek out erotic experiences at a rate three times your norm. (Here’s more about the 237 reasons: TinyURL.com/24av4j, tinyurl.com/22z9ep, and tinyurl.com/346xxp.)
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
“Opinion is really the lowest form of human knowledge,” says educator Bill Bullard. “It requires no accountability, no understanding. The highest form of knowledge is empathy, for it requires us to suspend our egos and live in another’s world. It requires profound, purpose-larger-than-the-self kind of understanding.” In that spirit, Scorpio, I encourage you to renounce three of your opinions, preferably those that are least well-informed and not rooted in first-hand experience. I also challenge you to carry out a weeklong experiment based on the following hypothesis: Expanding your capacity for empathy will make you smarter.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
Your metaphorical pregnancy has gone on rather long. No reason to panic. I’m sure your brainchild or masterpiece will arrive shortly. But just for fun, maybe you could watch a time-lapse film of a rose opening. That was helpful in expediting the birth process for two new mothers I know. Here are two other tricks to try, even if the blessed event you’re about to enjoy is purely symbolic: Arrange to be in a place where a storm is coming on. Folk tradition says that labor often follows drops in barometric pressure. Or get a hold of rings made from a rattlesnake tail. Early American explorers Lewis and Clark gave them to their Native American guide Sacagawea when it was near her time, and they seemed to magically expedite the baby’s arrival.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
I’ve got three messages for you. They may seem unrelated, but by this time next week you will see that they are intimately interconnected. 1. Unless you were raised in the woods by badgers, it’s a perfect moment to slip into your second childhood. 2. Unless you really can’t stand having your mind changed, it’s an excellent time to launch a daring project that would have seemed impossible to the person you were a year ago. 3. People unsympathetic to your cause may think you’re in the throes of delusions of grandeur, but those of us who have faith in your untapped powers say they’re not delusions but viable fantasies.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
On the San Francisco State University campus, the lampposts shine blue lights. It’s not just a decorative touch. Of all the colors, blue best pierces through fog, which is a regular feature in that part of the world. In this spirit, I suggest you install a blue light bulb in a prominent place in your environment for the next two weeks. It will be a symbolic reminder that there may be more mental murk and emotional haze for you to navigate through than usual. With the proper illumination, you won’t be deluded or slowed down a bit.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)
The Washington Post gave its readers an assignment: Come up with a statement they’d like to sneak on to President Bush’s teleprompter during a major speech. Chances would be good that he’d probably just say it, right? The entries included “I shall make it my duty to eat a kitten for breakfast every day,” “Global warming can be reversed if everyone just turned his air conditioner around,” and “I wish to announce my conversion to Islam.” I bring this to your attention, Pisces, because you’re in peril of getting into a situation like that. Unless you’re careful, you could end up saying things you don’t mean or expressing yourself in ways that don’t reflect your actual feelings. To make sure that doesn’t happen, concentrate hard on communicating with maximum clarity and candor.
Go to RealAstrology.com for Rob Brezsny’s expanded weekly audio horoscopes and daily text-message horoscopes. Audio horoscopes also available by phone at 877-873-4888 or 900-950-7700.