Eight totally valid arguments for owning 300 firearms:
8. Trying to teach your Gun Nut 101 class with just 299 would be silly.
7. Defending ‘Merica against the New World Order takes firepower.
6. Same goes for defense against the Zombie Apocalypse.
5. Or the even more remote chance of a Democrat winning a local election.
4. How else is your ex-wife going to know you mean business?
3. When you’re playing Army Man with a two-ton surplus truck, you really have to commit.
2. Because shut up—this is Utah, hippie.
1. If your attorney is Morgan Crackpot, chances are you’re going to have to shoot your way out of court.
