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Holiday Hell

8 questions to expect from visiting family members over the holidays

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Eight questions to expect from visiting family members over the holidays:

8. “So you’re still doing that with your hair, huh?”

7. “Hand me the clicker—where’s the Glenn Beck channel on your TV?”

6. “Gluten-free cookies? Why not just stab Santa in the chestnuts while you’re at it?”

5. “Yes, we said you’d probably die childless and alone on the family newsletter—but did you see the part where we also said you’re still somewhat pretty?”

4. “Nice house. Crack den foreclosure, right?”

3. “The Fosters cured their son of being gay … can we send him over with a pamphlet?”

2. “What’s this on the coffee table? City Weekly? Can’t you afford a real paper?”

1. “We’re all going out for brunch—how about you stay here and sober up?”

Twitter: @Bill_Frost

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