9. Bandied-Randied Paul: Tea Party-flavored with hunks of bandied about pro-life arguments.
8. Plain Palin: A plain but persistent vanilla, with lil' hollow point chocolate bits and wolf hair.
7. Herbert Sherbet: A prune-flavored sherbet with a highway of alleged bribes through the center.
6. Pecan Sandie Sanders: Tanned, golden brown, marshmallow hair fluff and a bit of gritty sand.
5. Half-Baked Biskupski: A new flavor wave that throws out all of the old flavors in favor of the new.
4. Treacle DownTrump: It's poisonous, but you'd still vote for it, right?
3. Candied Carson: A fearsome combo of cotton candy and hard candies from Grandma's purse.
2. Jeb's Juicy Jungle Gum: Bright blue with chewy pink bubble gum, but nothing you'd ever buy.
1. Cored Cruz: Bitter black licorice with a solid core of disbelief.