AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
Here’s
one of my favorite quotes from American philosopher Ralph Waldo
Emerson: “I hate quotations. Tell me what you think.” The current
astrological omens suggest that this is an excellent message for you to
heed. It’s crucial for you to know your own mind and speak your own
thoughts. It’s smart to trust your own instincts and draw on your own
hard-won epiphanies. For best results, don’t just be skeptical of the
conventional wisdom; be cautious about giving too much credence to every
source of sagacity and expertise. Try to define your own positions
rather than relying on theories you’ve read about and opinions you’ve
heard.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)
Why
did Mark Gibbons strap a washing machine to his back and then climb to
the top of Mount Snowdown in Wales? He did it to raise charity money for
the Kenyan Orphan Project. If, in the coming weeks, you try anything as
crazy as he did, Pisces, make sure it’s for an equally worthy cause.
Don’t you dare take on a big challenge simply to make people feel sorry
for you or to demonstrate what a first-class martyr you can be. On the
other hand, I’m happy to say that you could stir up a lot of good mojo
by wandering into previously off-limits zones as you push past the
limitations people expect you to honor.
ARIES (March 21-April 19)
The
Macy’s ad I saw in the newspaper had a blaring headline: “Find Your
Magic 2.0.” The items that were being touted to help us discover our
upgraded and more deluxe sense of magic were luxurious diamond rings.
The cheapest was $2,150. I’m going to try to steer you in another
direction in your quest to get in touch with Magic 2.0, Aries. I do
believe you are in an excellent position to do just that, but only if
you take a decidedly non-materialistic approach. What does your
intuition tell you about how to hook up with a higher, wilder version of
the primal mojo?
TAURUS (April 20-May 20)
The
U.S. Constitution has survived 222 years, longer than the constitution
of any other nation on the planet. But one of America’s founding
fathers, Thomas Jefferson, might have had a problem with that. He
believed our constitution should be revised every 19 years. Personally, I
share Jefferson’s view. And I would apply that same principle of
regular reinvention to all of us as individuals—although I think it
should be far more frequently than every 19 years. How long has it been
since you’ve amended or overhauled your own rules to live by, Taurus?
Judging by the astrological omens, I suspect it’s high time.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20)
“It
is respectable to have no illusions—and safe—and profitable and dull,”
said author Joseph Conrad. Taking our cue from his liberating derision, I
propose that we protest the dullness of having no illusions. Let’s
decry the blah, gray sterility that comes from entertaining no fantastic
fantasies and unreasonable dreams. How boring it is to have such
machine-like mental hygiene! For this one week, Gemini, I urge you to
celebrate your crazy ideas. Treasure and adore your wacky beliefs. Study
all those irrational and insane urges running around your mind to see
what you can learn about your deep, dark unconsciousness. (P.S.: But I’m
not saying you should act on any of those phantasms, at least not now.
Simply be amused by them.)
CANCER (June 21-July 22)
If
you were a medieval knight going into battle with a full suit of armor,
the advantage you had from the metal’s protection was offset by the
extra energy it took to haul around so much extra weight. In fact,
historians say this is one reason that a modest force of English
soldiers defeated a much larger French army at the Battle of Agincourt
in 1415. The Frenchmen’s armor was much bulkier, and by the time they
slogged through muddy fields to reach their enemy, they were too tired
to fight at peak intensity. The moral of the story, as far as you’re
concerned: To win a great victory in the coming weeks, shed as many of
your defense mechanisms and as much of your emotional baggage as
possible.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)
One
way or another, you will be more famous in the coming months than
you’ve ever been before. That might mean you’ll become better known or
more popular ... or it could take a different turn. To tease out the
nuances, let’s draw on Naomi Shihab Nye’s poem “Famous.” “The river is
famous to the fish. // The loud voice is famous to silence, / which knew
it would inherit the earth / before anybody said so. // The cat
sleeping on the fence is famous to the birds / watching him from the
birdhouse. // The tear is famous, briefly, to the cheek. // The idea you
carry close to your bosom / is famous to your bosom.”
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
Three
famous actresses formed the British Anti-Cosmetic Surgery League last
year. Rachel Wiesz, Kate Winslet and Emma Thompson say they believe
people should be happy with the physical appearance that nature gave
them. Is it rude of me to note that unlike most of the rest of us, those
three women were born gorgeous? It’s easy for them to promise not to
mess with their looks. Do you ever do that, Virgo? Urge other people to
do what’s natural for you but a challenge for them? I recommend against
that this week. For example: If you want to influence someone to change,
be willing to change something about yourself that’s hard to change.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
I
predict major breakthroughs in your relationship to intimacy and
togetherness in 2012, Libra—if, that is, you keep in mind the following
counsel from psychologist Neil Clark Warren: “Attraction and chemistry
are easily mistaken for love, but they are far from the same thing.
Being attracted to someone is immediate and largely subconscious.
Staying deeply in love with someone happens gradually and requires
conscious decisions, made over and over again.”
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
Purslane
is a plant that’s also known colloquially as pigweed. It’s hearty,
prolific and spreads fast. In a short time, it can grow out of control,
covering a large area with a thick carpet. On the other hand, it’s a
tasty salad green and has a long history of being used as a cooked
vegetable. As a medicinal herb, it’s also quite useful, being rich in
omega-3 fatty acids as well as a number of vitamins and minerals. Moral
of the story: Keep pigweed contained—don’t let it grow out of
control—and it will be your friend. Does anything in your life fit that
description?
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
As
he approaches his 70th birthday, retiree and Michigan resident Michael
Nicholson is still hard at work adding to his education. He’s got 27
college degrees so far, including 12 master’s degrees and a doctorate.
Although he’s not an “A” student, he loves learning for its own sake. I
nominate him to be your role model for the coming weeks, Sagittarius.
Your opportunities for absorbing new lessons will be at a peak. I hope
you take full advantage of all the teachings that will be available.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
The Bible addresses the subjects of money and possessions in about 2,000 verses, but devotes only 500 verses to prayer and 500 to faith. As you know, my advice in these horoscopes usually tends to have the opposite emphasis: I concentrate more on spiritual matters than materialistic concerns. But this time, in acknowledgment of the specific cosmic influences coming to bear on you, I’m going to be more like the Bible. Please proceed on the assumption that you have a mandate to think extra deeply and super creatively about money and possessions in the coming weeks. Feel free, too, to pray for financial guidance and meditate on increasing your cash flow.
Go to RealAstrology.com for Rob Brezsny’s expanded weekly audio horoscopes and daily text-message horoscopes. Audio horoscopes also available by phone at 877-873-4888 or 900-950-7700.