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Lake Effect | Drinking With Dick & Jane

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Further proof isn’t needed that Utah’s liquor laws are drawn up by people who have no idea what they area talking about. This year, lawmakers voted low-alcohol beverages, like Smirnoff Ice, out of grocery stores and imposed a new mixed drinks formula on bars.

Attempting to educate legislators about the demon rum, the Office of Legislative Research and General Council this year reverted to a “See Spot Run” approach, showing a picture book-like presentation about “The Smiths,” a fictional cartoon couple with two children “from California,” confronted with perplexing questions about Utah liquor laws.

“The Smiths’ friends visit for a ski weekend. After attending a symphony, they decide to have drinks at a private club. How are guests and visitors addressed?

“The couple’s daughter sings in the community choir, which performs at an annual ‘New Year’s Eve Charity Concert.’ Mrs. Smith is in charge of the bar.”

“The Smiths want to order on the Internet a case of wine from their favorite boutique winery for an upcoming party. Is direct shipping legal?” (Answer: No)

We can’t blame The Smiths for being confused.

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