Last Days | Staff Box | Salt Lake City | Salt Lake City Weekly
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News » Staff Box

Last Days

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If the Rapture were to take place this month, would you change your lifestyle?

Kolbie Stonehocker: Probably stop drinking, stop swearing—wait. No. I don’t want to get sucked up into heaven with a bunch of squares.

Nick Clark: I would take up smoking, excessive drinking and World of Warcraft—none of which I would do if I were to go on living.

Scott Renshaw: Nobody *I* associate with would be going anywhere, so it would be pretty much business as usual.

Bryan Mannos:
Hell, yes—talk about separating the wheat from the chaff!

Wally Greenwell: Sure. I’d go out at night and eat up cars. I’d eat Cadillacs, Lincolns, too.  Mercurys and Subarus. Then when there are no more cars, I’d go out at night and eat up bars.

Becca Andrus:  The world has been ending since it began. I will hang out on Earth with my family and friends, while all of the weirdos shoot into outer space and leave us to clean up their debts and messes. Small price to pay.

Rachel Piper: I am already perfect. I would probably stop coming to work, though. (Sorry to all my adoring fans.)

Jeff Reese: Since there is no god and “the Rapture” is not possible, I will assume this means the end of human existence. I would probably just stop working and spend the time left with my friends and family doing the things I enjoy. I guess it would be like a final vacation.

Susan Kruithof:
I would become one with a box of Banbury Cross donuts.