Eight ways Mayor Ralph Becker plans to sweeten the deal of a new cop shop on Library Square:
8. "We'll name it Rocky Anderson Memorial Square ... as soon as that pain-in-the-ass dies, already."
7. "It´ll have a Trader Joe's!"
6. "And a State Liquor Store! Because the Trader Joe's won't have booze."
5. "You´ll still have open space at City Creek Center—there'll just be a dress code."
4. "Look, this is where Batman, er, Bruce Wayne, wants it, OK?"
3. "The carbon footprint will be minimal. As far as you know."
2. "Just think of it as affordable housing for drunks, dealers and drifters."
1. "Hey, it's not like we have any other vacant lots or buildings downtown."