By Arica Roberts

Mark May and Kevin Northup's love story began in 2012, three years before the U.S. Supreme Court legalized same-sex marriage nationwide. And the two men met at Brigham Young University, where being in a same-sex relationship was grounds for expulsion.

May had graduated, but Northup was a current student. While attending campus meetups of the group USGA (Understanding Same Gender Attraction), they both participated in an "It Gets Better" video that went viral, showing lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender adults sharing their stories of coming out, survival and the promise to youth that even if they are bullied for their sexual identity, it does, indeed, get better.

"It completely threw me out of the closet," May said. "I got so much overwhelming love and support. It just gave me confidence ... made me feel better. And so then I started interacting more with social things."

After the video, May and Northup's lives became more intertwined as they went on group activities with other USGA members.

After several interactions, it was during a long weekend celebrating Pride Month in Salt Lake City in June of 2012 when they began falling in love.

They danced together at the clubs and walked together, along with Northup's mother, in the Pride Parade. They escorted Northup's mom back to her hotel, and she said, "Make good choices" in typical Mormon-mom fashion.

Back at May's place, he said: "Guess what? I'm making piña coladas." Northrup had never had a drink, but he said "sure" and drank plenty after that. They both laugh at the memory.

But things quickly became more complicated. "I had a roommate who was going to report me to the Honor Code," Northup recalled.

It was an emotional time. The roommate's threat pushed Northup to leave BYU. Northup transferred to the University of Utah and eventually moved in with May that December. With the academic sacrifice came the personal and spiritual implications of leaving BYU, he said.

Marriage equality was not yet the law, but May proposed to Northup on Salt Lake City's Capitol Hill. More than a decade later, they are still united.

Like the memory of that first piña colada, one of their favorite pastimes is bonding over cocktails. On their honeymoon in Mexico, they were introduced to caipirinhas, the famous Brazilian cocktail. It consists of three simple ingredients: cachaça (a spirit derived from sugar cane), lime and sugar.

"It's a perfect drink," May enthused. "It's sweet, it's sour, it's boozy, it's refreshing. It's got a nice, unique flavor, something you can't get from any other drink." And their recommendation for a good caipirinha in Salt Lake City? Under Current, at 270 S. 300 East.

"They have cachaça and the bartenders do an amazing job," Northup said.

May and Northup raved about a farmer's market series that Under Current hosted over the summer. Bartenders would shop for an ingredient at the downtown market, then three different bartenders would each construct a cocktail featuring that ingredient.

The series saw cocktails built around fresh strawberries, peaches, apricots and tomatoes. Their favorite was a dirty martini modeled on caprese, with tomato and basil.

"Drinking cocktails has been a very enjoyable addition to our lives, but it's because we do it responsibly. And I think that when you're celebrating, it's fine," Northup said. "But we have rules, like you don't drink on weekdays and you don't drink when you're sad. And I think that really worked well for us—as that made it a celebratory drink."

"... And," May added, "it keeps it that way."

Lockdown Love
During the strict social restrictions of 2020, Azalea Jain and Ossilot Skyhaus ("Zale and Ossi") found love at an unexpected time.

They were both living in Florida and attended a close-knit get-together, in which each of the guests had tested negative for COVID-19 to ensure a safe game night.

Jain noticed Skyhaus from across the room, then noticed him again at a second get-together. But finally, a third game night was the charm and, once Skyhaus got a good look at Jain—and her Scrabble/Catan skills—he asked her on a date. They've spent every night together ever since.

For their first date, Skyhaus drove Jain to his favorite Mediterranean restaurant and took their orders to-go.

"In the car ride, he asked me to sing a song I knew all the words to, then he would follow," Jain recalled. "I rapped Lil Wayne; he sang Mac Miller. And then we watched the sunset from the top of a parking garage as we ate our food."

Afterward, they went to Peabody's Bar & Billiards in Tampa, Florida, to get a little competitive. They each won a game of hoops while Skyhaus drank Moscow Mules and Jain drank vodka and water with extra lime.

In April of 2022, they relocated to Salt Lake City for Jain's work. Over the past three years, they have enjoyed hiking and the one-of-a-kind nature that Utah offers.

Additionally, they've met an amazing group of friends through the local nightlife.

Skyhaus DJs under the name "Sandori" and they jointly run a music collective called Incorrekt, where they've thrown a few of their own events, including a "cave rave" (which, yes, is a rave in a cave).

Their first spot trying drinks in Salt Lake City was at the Seabird Bar in The Gateway. They would walk from their first apartment downtown and order "The Verde," which included a stem of rosemary.

Now, they typically frequent A Bar Named Sue on Highland Drive. The small dive bar is famous for its billiards, darts and karaoke, which reminds them of their first date at Peabody's in Florida.

At First Sight
Long distance relationships suck. Janet Medina and Michael Valadez know all too well the unique difficulties of maintaining this type of relationship: Medina lives in Salt Lake City and Valadez lives in Denver.

They met in SLC in 2013 through a mutual friend, after Medina had moved here from Guadalajara, Mexico, and Valadez had moved here from Denver to attend university. Valadez still remembers the first time he saw her.

"She was wearing a red dress, I remember, and I had a red couch," Valadez said. "She was sitting on the red couch in a red dress. I was immediately attracted to her."

They used to frequent the now-closed Club JAM, where they would order AMFs ("Adios Mother F--ker")—a drink designed to get your money's worth in alcohol. AMFs include a bit of vodka, a bit of gin, a bit of rum, a bit of tequila, blue curacao, sour mix and lemon-lime soda, with lime wedges and a cherry to top it off.

To be fair, they noted that they were in their early 20s at the time, when hangovers didn't hit as hard. Now, at a more sophisticated age, they have enjoyed The Red Door for dirty martinis and Whiskey Street for classic burgers and booze.

But their favorite way to spend time together is by playing video games, which works conveniently in their long distance relationship.

"We play games a lot, virtually. There's a lot of time we're spending together that I don't think we compartmentalize as, like, 'hanging out as a couple'," Medina explained.

While at home gaming, together but apart, Medina said she likes to make a Negroni Sbagliato, which includes Campari, sweet vermouth, prosecco and an orange peel garnish.

Blind Date Success
Lara and Jarred Finn met City Weekly at Bohemian Brewery to share the story of their first meeting. It was 2019 at a house party with mutual friends, who were busy playing matchmaker.

Jarred remembers when he first laid eyes on Lara.

"We were all having some drinks, and then Lara shows up, and it was like it was one of those moments that literally took my breath away, you know?" he said. "She was—yeah—just 10 out of 10. Like, a million out of 10."

From Lara's perspective, she remembered showing up with low expectations.

Aware her friends were aiming to set her up, she walked in, saw Jarred and thought to herself: "Oh my God. I hope it's that guy."

After some liquid courage, Jarred finally approached Lara, and they ended up talking all night long. Fast forward to 2023, they got married and are still deeply in love as ever.

For couples who aren't cocktail gurus, but have an open mind, Lara and Jarred Finn suggest a "Last Man Standing" at Ivy & Varley.

It's a mix of London dry gin with rye, fernet, campari and an orange twist for garnish.

Jarred recalled the presentation involved—the bartender capping a cloud of smoke and trapping it in with the drink. Seeing it made, he said, sells it.

"Where has this been my whole life?" he recalled thinking. "Because for me, it was always like, 'why am I gonna pay $20 for a drink?'"

Over a round of German food and beers, they clink glasses in a "Cheers!" to their love.

Best of Utah chef Tyson Peterson on the power of a good meal.
Dig In
By Brandi Christoffersen

Tyson Peterson, head chef at Mar Muntanya, said he's noticed a new energy around eating and drinking in the city.

"People are looking for more of an experience when they dine out," he said. "Since the pandemic, I believe we have all been craving a connection to one another. Sharing a meal and a cocktail are the perfect way to engage and connect."

Connection and sharing are particularly desired as we approach one of the busiest date nights of the year: Valentine's Day. In the past, this "day of love" was all about romantic couples expressing their affection for one another. In more recent years, however, it has become a time to honor all those we love and care about, including friends and family.

"Galentine's" and "Palentine's" are now part of the modern zeitgeist and, on February 14, entire groups gather together to celebrate.

"Mar Muntanya is largely about that," Peterson said. "After all, tapas style is all about sitting down and sharing everything."

Mar Muntanya is located on the 6th floor of the Hyatt Regency hotel in downtown Salt Lake City. When Peterson was given the opportunity to open the new restaurant, two and half years ago, he jumped at the chance.

"The entire concept and menu are inspired by the flavors and culture of Northern Spain," he said.

Mar Muntanya means sea and mountain, which perfectly blends the contrasts between the two worlds into one cuisine. Its small plates are sized and portioned for sharing and allow for experimentation. Patrons reportedly love the experience.

Tapas comes from the Spanish word meaning "to cover." Its origins date back to the mid-13th century, when, as legend has it, King Alfonso X of Castile, known as the "wise one," passed a decree that all taverns must offer a small portion of food with every glass of wine to help reduce the effects of alcohol.

These small bites were referred to as tapas, as they were often placed over the top of the drink. Eventually, these tiny plates evolved into a fully designed cuisine.

It was while working as the executive chef for numerous establishments throughout the United States that Peterson first fell in love with tapas-style dining. A Utah native—and a 2024 Best of Utah winner—Peterson said he was excited by the opportunity to construct Mar Muntanya's tapas menu with local ingredients, spices and flavors.

"It's so fresh and creative," he said. "Growing up, we would have these huge Sunday dinners and every meal was family-style. This type of dining perfectly complements tapas style—everyone shares everything."

According to Peterson, that is what Mar Muntanya is all about —sharing an experience. In fact, each menu item has a story behind why it's included on the menu. Every server has a "food bible" and can explain why the item was selected and what it means to the person that chose it.

An example of this is the ever-popular Campfire Elk Loin, which was inspired by Peterson's memories of hunting in the Wasatch Mountains with his father.

"The dish has hints of blackberries and sage which is another callback to the mountains," he said.

It's things like the food bible that show the time and commitment that has been invested into the restaurant. You can feel all the love and energy that goes into every dish.

"Mar Muntanya is about the experience, and how lucky am I to get to be a part of it?" Peterson gushed.

One of these special moments occurred soon after the restaurant opened. A newly engaged couple came to Mar Muntanya to celebrate. They ordered a bottle of wine and shared numerous items from the menu.

Peterson visited with them at their table—known as a "table touch"—and they toasted to their future.

"The couple came back a few years later to recreate the moment," explained Peterson. "So we got the same bottle of wine and duplicated their same dishes. They were so grateful to get to experience those memories and feelings all over again."

Peterson hopes to create magical dining experiences for everyone that visits the restaurant. But he said that he's opted against a special Valentine's menu this year, as the restaurant's standard service already invites patrons to select their own combination of small plates.

"Each couple can create their own unique tasting menu," he explained.

But Peterson does have some Valentine's Day suggestions.

"We have little bites that you can start with, some crudo and sashimi style selections that are sexy for sure," he recommended. "Our raw oysters are the perfect aphrodisiac."

The restaurant has also partnered with Alpine Distilling and created two collaborative cocktails.

One is inspired by the James Bond Vesper Martini and highlights Alpine's Persistent Vodka. The other is the spruce tip gin and tonic, which features Alpine's spruce tip infused gin.

"It's been amazing working with Alpine and realizing the differences between tongue flavors and nasal flavors. It's interesting to pair different cocktails with different plates and to experience the end result."

Whether you're single for Valentine's or just in need of self-love, try masterdating.
Lover, Date Thyself
By Cat Palmer

Alright, let's get real for a second. Whether I'm in a relationship or flying solo, one thing is for sure: alone time is non-negotiable.

I've got teens, a spouse, and a business to run. And let's face it, life is exhausting. Sometimes, it feels like I need a nap just to keep up with all the people who need a piece of me.

So, years ago, I started an #iMasturdate project. And guess what? I'm here to tell you—dating yourself is the best thing you can do for your soul. And yes, I really do mean dating yourself.

I started traveling solo when I was a teen, and I realized that when you don't have to check with anyone about what to do or where to go, life gets so much more interesting.

You meet people, you explore places at your own pace and, best of all, you answer to no one but yourself. It's freedom in its purest form.

Now, if you're wondering what "masturdating" means, let me break it down for you: it's all about taking yourself out, enjoying your own company and not feeling weird about it. I'm talking about solo trips, solo dinners, solo everything. Look, it's 2025—you are the best company you're ever going to get.

Case in point: I've become such a pro at solo travel that Delta, without even asking, will upgrade my seat like I'm some kind of VIP. Seriously, they're like, "Oh, she's alone? Let's make this experience extra nice for her." Bless them.

And you know what? I love it. I get on a plane; I don't have to ask anyone what they want for snacks; I don't need to check if anyone else is okay with the itinerary; and I can do whatever I want in the city I'm visiting. That's a level of freedom most people can only dream of.

But to be clear, I don't even have to be in a foreign city to enjoy this. Whether I'm in Paris, Amsterdam or some random small town, I always make sure to carve out a few days for me, myself and I. And trust me, it's just as much fun as the rest of the trip.

I still remember one of my most iconic "masturdating" moments: I had a sunset meal by the water, sipping on a lovely wine, eating a delicious dinner and just soaking in the moment. It was magical. Honestly, I'm not even sure if the view was more impressive than how damn good I felt about myself.

Here's the plot twist—this isn't just some feel-good trend I've been riding alone. I've inspired others to get their own "masturdating" groove on. One woman, who follows me on social media, took a page from my book and realized she was seriously missing out on life. She travels for work all the time, but she was stuck in the "room service and Netflix" routine. (I'm talking meals in her hotel room, isolated from the world.)

One day she decided, "screw that," and started exploring restaurants on her work trips. She ventured out, she ate at nice spots, and you know what? She found that dining alone wasn't weird—it was liberating. It opened up her world, and she no longer felt embarrassed to be just with herself.

I was so proud of her for taking that step. Honestly, that's the kind of self-love I'm here for.

But it's not just about the big things like travel or fancy dinners.

One thing I really hope my kids remember is that I treated myself to flowers every week, without fail. It didn't matter what our budget looked like, I made sure that my home always had fresh blooms.

I did it for my mental health and just to feel special—because I am. Buying flowers for yourself is one of those small, yet powerful acts of self-care that instantly makes your life better.

If you're new to this, start small. Take yourself out to a movie you've been dying to see. It's not like you're going to be chatting with anyone anyway, so why not enjoy the flick in peace? Or, if you're feeling extra fabulous, dress up and hit a play, a musical, or a concert.

You know that outfit sitting in your closet that you rarely wear? Yeah, now's the time. Go wear it, own it and get your "I'm royalty" vibes on.

Maybe you're not the theatrical type? Fine, I get it. But you know what's just as good for your soul? A day at the park, just you, a cozy blanket, a book and a picnic. Pack your snacks, slather on some sunscreen, and just relax.

And if you're feeling like a total boss, hit up a spa for a day of luxury. I'm talking about those places where you can soak in a bath, get pampered, and just forget the world exists. It's the ultimate "me time," and trust me, it's worth every penny.

Now, for my fellow early risers (or anyone who's secretly fantasizing about morning peace), imagine: a full breakfast at your favorite neighborhood café. You're not waiting for anyone, you're not answering anyone's questions about where they want to sit—you're just there, enjoying your time.

And for all my single moms out there (I see you, and I know it's hard), listen to me: carve out some time for yourself. Find that class you've always wanted to take. The University of Utah has night classes, your neighborhood might have a pottery workshop—every artist's Instagram is full of fun workshops. You deserve it.

For the ultimate "masturdater," there's one thing you have to do: take yourself dancing. I'm talking about hitting the dance floor with zero cares.

And guess what? You get to leave whenever you want. No one's waiting on you, no one's holding you back. If you want to do an '80s night, a drag show, or just vibe to your favorite tunes, go for it. No judgment, just pure joy.

Whether you're married, single, a parent, taking time for yourself isn't optional—it's essential.

So, let me leave you with this thought: Masturdating isn't a luxury—it's a necessity. You are the best company that you'll ever have. Make sure you treat yourself accordingly.

Utah's professional cuddlers combat the loneliness epidemic through human touch.
Hold Me
By Zach Abend

Alyssa Rose and I were lying on her king-sized bed on a Wednesday afternoon in her apartment. We were holding each other and chatting about ourselves. After an hour of cuddling, I got up, thanked her, and went home.

Rose is a professional cuddler and holds people for a living.

"Touch is good for your well-being," Rose said. "It raises oxytocin and lowers stress hormones."

In 2023, Dr. Vivek H. Murthy, the U.S. Surgeon General, issued a report declaring that loneliness and isolation were at epidemic levels in the United States. COVID-related social-distancing and the widespread use of social media in lieu of human interaction have both contributed to this state of affairs. Some people are starting to counter this epidemic through cuddling.

Over the last 10 years, cuddle parties and one-on-one cuddling have increased in popularity. Organizations like Cuddle Party, Inc., Cuddlist.com, and CuddleComfort.com provide listings of providers who will cuddle with you for a fee as well as information on cuddle parties in your area. There are also unaffiliated cuddlers who advertise on their own.

Here in Utah there are dozens of professional cuddlers who will hold you for a fee. I found Rose through her website—wildrosehaven.com. We spoke on the phone a week before I went to see her. Rose said her interest in cuddling was sparked by a conversation she had with a friend a few years ago who didn't have time for a relationship and said he missed cuddling.

"I have a very warm and nurturing and comforting energy," Rose said. "I enjoy connecting to people and giving them what they need. People want to be held and seen and heard. It's just goodness."

Rose's clientele are primarily men although she works with women as well. About half are married or in relationships. In some cases, they don't want to cheat on their partners but aren't getting the attention they need at home.

"I don't judge them," Rose said. "I provide a service of healing and comfort and care."

She sees a fair number of single men who are busy and don't have time for dating. A lot of her clients are going through therapy or going through changes in their relationships.

My experience cuddling with Rose was intimate even though it was platonic. There is something about being held in someone's arms that can be deeply comforting and yet very vulnerable at the same time.

For someone who isn't partnered, or is in a dead bedroom relationship, cuddling with someone might fill a real void.

For those who want to explore cuddling services before committing to holding someone for an hour on their own, there are cuddle parties, like the ones hosted by Will Clarke.

Clarke, who has been cuddling professionally for about a year, hosts cuddle parties in Salt Lake and Utah Counties. He emphasized the paramount importance of consent in the cuddling world.

"The purpose of the parties is to teach people how to connect properly," Clarke said. "Communication, Connection, and Consent are the three C's".

Clarke believes that American culture is both oversexualized and also deeply lonely. "You can have sex and still not have a connection moment," Clarke said. "There is a lot of trauma from our culture because of loneliness and isolation."

The way Clarke described cuddle parties sounded like a cross between speed dating and a sleepover. The first rule, according to Clarke, is the pajamas stay on the entire time. A cuddle party is not a place for sex and Clarke screens the potential attendees.

The parties are usually at the host's home although they can be held at hotels or commercial spaces. Clarke said he has everyone do what he called a "no exercise." Each person asks the person next to them a question and, no matter what that question is, they have to respond to it with a "no." This is done so that everyone can feel comfortable saying no.

The first 30 minutes consists of socializing and serves as an ice breaker. Then there is a welcome circle when the facilitator goes over the rules for the party. After that, there is open time for freestyle cuddling.

The parties can go for as long as three or four hours. Clarke described people who lose track of time cuddling as being in a "cuddle coma." The last 30 minutes of the party are dedicated to a closing circle.

Some people will cuddle with the same person the entire time and others will switch partners in the middle.

According to Mary Sorensen, Executive Director of Cuddle Party, Inc., there are two purposes for cuddle parties. One is to offer you a space to get the touch you need. And, just as importantly, it gives you communication and empowerment tools in a healthy way.

"That communication piece is so important to bring to all your connection in the world," Sorensen said. "How do I say no. How do I receive no. Practicing those things where it's lower stakes makes it easier. Touch is the medium we practice these things in."

Of course loneliness, and our corresponding human need for physical contact, are as old as humanity itself. Dr. Sam Carr, who is a Senior Lecturer at the University of Bath in the Department of Education who researches human relationships, said we shouldn't try to 'cure' loneliness.

"I think feeling lonely is actually a part of everyone's life journey and we'll do more good by learning to acknowledge it, allow it, share our stories of it," Carr said. "There's a lot of literature about how 'contact comfort'—the unique feeling of connection and comfort we get from physical touch—is fundamentally important in alleviating loneliness and making us feel safe and secure. So, it's not new in terms of it being a fundamental human need."

Given the stranglehold social media has on our culture, and how isolated many people are, we will need all the help we can get.