Tuesday, April 4 (Fox)
Return: Make that Prison Break: Resurrection, because the "dead" Michael Scofield (Wentworth Miller) is actually alive in another prison—this time in Yemen, like that matters. The original 2005-09 run of Fox's Prison Break was a cultural phenomenon for a hot minute, but the story of blueprint-tattooed Michael springing his wrongfully convicted brother Lincoln Burrows (Dominic Purcell) from jail held up surprisingly well over four seasons, thanks to a colorful supporting cast and ri-dic-u-lous plot twists. Sara (Sarah Wayne Callies), Sucre (Amaury Nolasco), C-Note (Rockmond Dunbar) and the unforgettable T-Bag (Robert Knepper) rejoin the Buzzcut Bros. for this nine-episode international Break-out event; best if you don't think too hard.
Tuesday, April 4 (Fox)
Season Finale: Is Season 6 the end for New Girl? Fox has yet to come to a decision, and tonight's season finale could easily serve as a series finale for the comedy. Zooey Deschanel (who plays "New Girl" Jess) could not be reached for comment, as she was busy plucking turn-of-the-century tunes on a ukulele at a nearby farmers market. With well over 100 episodes of reruns available on TBS and MTV, as well as Netflix, Hulu and whatever else you kids are watching "content" on, we probably have enough New Girl. The quality of laughs remained consistent to the end, and has even delivered some late-run surprises: Megan Fox can be funny; Cece (Hannah Simone) has an endless cache of eye-rolls; Schmidt (Max Greenfield) ... still works.
Wednesday, April 5 (Pop)
Season Finale: Speaking of you kids and your viewing habits: Schitt's Creek is not a Netflix show! It's been originating from Pop since 2015; since no one knows what or where the hell Pop is, however, this can be forgiven. Three seasons in, it's cool to see comedy veterans like Eugene Levy, Catherine O'Hara and Chris Elliott on a successful series, no matter how it's being found. Like Arrested Development writ Canadian, Schitt's Creek pits dumb ex-wealthy folk against small-town not-quite-hicks with hilarious results, even if the plot doesn't add up: Johnnie and Moira Rose (Levy and O'Hara) are now forced to live in a hotel in the town of Schitt's Creek, which they purchased as an impulsive joke decades ago. Ever tried to buy a town? Not easy.
Wednesday, April 5 (FXX)
Season Premiere: You might recall that, at the end of Season 7 last year, Sterling Archer (H. Jon Benjamin) was full of bullets, face-down in a swimming pool and presumed dead. But! In cartoons and Prison Break, death fake-outs are a thing: Archer's now in a coma, and Season 8 is a 1940s Hollywood-noir-themed dream—it's also only eight episodes long, and relocated from FX to FXX (which isn't the literal TV death sentence it used to be, so relax). Only Archer could top the ultimate crime-noir comedy, 1982's Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid (Steve Martin's greatest achievement, BTW), just don't expect much deviation from the series' usual abusive banter (thankfully).
Wednesday, April 5 (IFC)
Series Debut: Like Kenny Fucking Powers in the late Eastbound & Down, Jim Brockmire (Hank Azaria) yearns to return to Major League Baseball after a spectacular career meltdown. Unlike KFP, he's on the other side of the announcer's booth. In Brockmire, Azaria has found a cartoonish character to rival the 800 he voices on The Simpsons, an old-school sportscaster full of hysterically dark asides ("I don't drink ... hard liquor ... between the hours of 6 and 11 a.m."), now reduced to calling minor-league ball for the Morristown Frackers. The team's owner, Jules (Amanda Peet), is no ray of sober sunshine, either—hence, adversarial love interest. Brockmire has all the markings of a one-season-and-done oddity (as do most IFC shows not set in Portland), but it's a ... oh, the hackery! ... home run.
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