May 25-31: Woohoo! | Free Will Astrology | Salt Lake City Weekly
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Culture » Free Will Astrology

May 25-31: Woohoo!

Get gleefully lost, Gemini

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GEMINI (May 21-June 20)
“Sometimes I think and other times I am,” said French poet Paul Valery. Most of us could say the same thing. From what I can tell, Gemini, you are now entering an intensely “I am” phase of your long-term cycle—a time when it will be more important for you to exclaim “woohoo!” than to mutter “hmmm”; a time to tune in extra strong to the nonverbal wisdom of your body and to the sudden flashes of your intuition; a time when you’ll generate more good fortune by getting gleefully lost in the curious mystery of the moment than by sitting back and trying to figure out what it all means.

CANCER (June 21-July 22)
Don’t pretend you can’t see the darkness. Admit to its presence. Accept its reality. And then, dear Cancerian, walk nonchalantly away from it, refusing to fight it or be afraid of it. In other words, face up to the difficulty without becoming all tangled up in it. Gaze into the abyss so as to educate yourself about its nature, but don’t get stuck there or become entranced by its supposedly hypnotic power. I think you’ll be amazed at how much safety and security you can generate for yourself simply by being an objective, poised observer free of melodramatic reactions.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)
It’s OK with me if you want to keep the lion as your symbolic animal, Leo. But I’d like to tell you why I’m proposing that you switch over to the tiger, at least for now. People who work with big cats say that lions tend to be obnoxious and grouchy, whereas tigers are more affable and easy to get along with. And I think that in the coming weeks it’ll be important for you to be like the tiger. During this time, you will have an enhanced power to cultivate friendships and influence people. Networking opportunities will be excellent. Your web of connections should expand. By the way, even though lions are called kings of the jungle, tigers are generally bigger, more muscular and better fighters.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
In 1977, the first Apple computers were built in a garage that Steve Jobs’ father provided for his son and Steve Wozniak to work in. (You can see a photo of the holy shrine here: tinyurl.com/AppleGarage.) I suggest you think about setting up your own version of that magic place sometime soon: a basement, kitchen, garage, warehouse or corner of your bedroom that will be the spot where you fine-tune your master plan for the coming years—and maybe even where you begin working in earnest on a labor of love that will change everything for the better.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
I have a heads up for you, Libra. Do your best to avoid getting enmeshed in any sort of “he said/she said” controversy. (Of course it could be a “he said/he said” or “she said/she said” or “trans said/intersex said” brouhaha, too—you get the idea.) Gossip is not your friend in the week ahead. Trying to serve as a mediator is not your strong suit. Becoming embroiled in personal disputes is not your destiny. In my opinion, you should soar free of all the chatter and clatter. It’s time for you to seek out big pictures and vast perspectives. Where you belong is meditating on a mountaintop, flying in your dreams and charging up your psychic batteries in a sanctuary that’s both soothing and thrilling.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
In some Australian aborigine cultures, a newborn infant gets two names from the tribal elders. The first is the name everybody knows. The second is sacred, and is kept secret. Even the child isn’t told. Only when he or she comes of age and is initiated into adulthood is it revealed. I wish we had a tradition similar to this. It might be quite meaningful for you, because you’re currently navigating your way through a rite of passage that would make you eligible to receive your sacred, secret name. I suggest we begin a new custom: When you’ve completed your transformation, pick a new name for yourself, and use it only when you’re conversing with your ancestors, your teachers or yourself.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
Please raise your hand if you have ever sought out a romantic connection with someone mostly because of the way he or she looked. You shouldn’t feel bad if you have; it’s pretty common. But I hope you won’t indulge in this behavior any time soon. In the coming weeks, it’s crucial for you to base your decisions on deeper understandings—not just in regards to potential partners and lovers, but for everything. As you evaluate your options, don’t allow physical appearance and superficial attractiveness to be the dominant factors.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
The 21st flight of the 4.5-billion-pound Space Shuttle Discovery was supposed to happen June 8, 1995. But about a week before its scheduled departure, workers discovered an unforeseen problem. Northern flicker woodpeckers had made a mess of the insulation on the outer fuel tank; they’d pecked a couple of hundred holes, some quite deep. To allow for necessary repairs, launch was postponed for over a month. I’m choosing this scenario to serve as a useful metaphor for you, Capricorn. Regard it as your notice not to ignore a seemingly tiny adversary or trivial obstacle. Take that almost-insignificant pest seriously.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
It’s official: Dancing increases your intelligence. So says a report in the New England Journal of Medicine. Unfortunately, research found that swimming, bicycling and playing golf are not at all effective in rewiring the brain’s neural pathways. Doing crossword puzzles is somewhat helpful, though, and so is reading books. But one of the single best things you can do to enhance your cognitive functioning is to move your body around in creative and coordinated rhythm with music. Lucky you: This is a phase of your astrological cycle when you’re likely to have more impulses and opportunities to dance. Take advantage! Get smarter. (More info: tinyurl.com/DanceSmart.)

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)
Your animal totem for the next phase of your astrological cycle is a creature called a hero shrew. Of all the mammals in the world, it has the strongest and heaviest spine proportionate to its size. This exceptional attribute makes the tiny animal so robust that a person could stand on it without causing serious harm. You will need to have a backbone like that in the coming weeks, Pisces. Luckily, the universe will be conspiring to help you. I expect to see you stand up to the full weight of the pressures coming to bear on you—and do it with exceptional charisma.

ARIES (March 21-April 19)
“My soul is a fire that suffers if it doesn’t burn,” said Jean Prevost, a writer and hero of the French Resistance during World War II. “I need 3 or 4 cubic feet of new ideas every day, as a steamboat needs coal.” Your soul may not be quite as blazing as his, Aries, and you may normally be able to get along fine with just a few cubic inches of new ideas per day. But I expect that in the next three to four weeks, you will both need and yearn to generate Prevost-type levels of heat and light. Please make sure you’re getting a steady supply of the necessary fuel.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)
Here’s a great question to pose on a regular basis during the next three weeks: “What’s the best use of my time right now?” Whenever you ask, be sure to answer with an open mind. Don’t assume that the correct response is always “Working with white-hot intensity on churning out the masterpiece that will fulfill my dreams and cement my legacy.” On some occasions, the best use of your time may be doing the laundry or sitting quietly and doing nothing more than watching the world go by. Here’s a reminder from philosopher Jonathan Zap: “Meaning and purpose are not merely to be found in the glamorous, dramatic moments of life.”

Go to RealAstrology.com for Rob Brezsny’s expanded weekly audio horoscopes and daily text-message horoscopes. Audio horoscopes also available by phone at 877-873-4888 or 900-950-7700.