
TAURUS (April 20-May 20)
Among
the ancient Anglo-Saxons, the month of May was called “Thrimilce.” The
word referred to the fact that cows were so productive at this time of
year that they could be milked three times a day. I thought of that as I
studied your current astrological data, Taurus. During this year’s
Thrimilce, you are almost impossibly fertile and abundant and creative.
My advice is to give generously, but not to the point of exhaustion: the
equivalent of three times a day, but not four.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20)
In
accordance with the astrological omens, I encourage you to seek out a
concentrated period of sweet oblivion. Not a numb, narcotized limbo. Not
a mournful unconsciousness that’s motivated by a depressive urge to
give up. No, Gemini: The mental blankness that you cultivate should be
generated by a quest to rejuvenate yourself, and it must have qualities
of deliciousness and delight. You not only have a need to rest and
recharge in a lush nowhere--you also have the right to do so.
CANCER (June 21-July 22)
A
while back, I gave my readers this homework: “Tell a story about the
time a divine intervention reached down and altered your course in one
tricky, manic swoop.” A woman named Kelly testified as follows: “At
first I was disturbed to find I couldn’t identify the last time Spirit
descended into my midst with a forceful intervention. But finally I
realized why: I have been working to make my whole life be guided by the
Spirit of my Higher Power, as a deep undercurrent. That way I don’t
need bolts of lightening to fix my course.” This is a useful lesson,
Cancerian. It’s an excellent time for you to follow Kelly’s lead. Ask
yourself how you could cultivate a deep, abiding undercurrent of the
good influence you want to have guide you, thereby making lightning
bolts of divine intervention unnecessary.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)
The
exact height of Mt. Everest has proved challenging to determine. Even
using modern scientific methods, different teams of surveyors have come
up with varying measurements. The problem is not simply with the
calculations themselves. The world’s tallest peak is definitely
evolving. Shifts in the earth’s tectonic plates work to raise it up and
move it northeastward. But there’s also evidence that the melting of its
glaciers due to climate change is causing it to shrink. A member of one
mountain climbing expedition said, “If Everest is bobbing up and down,
we must hope to catch it on a low day.” I bring this to your attention,
Leo, in order to offer you a metaphor for the coming weeks. Your version
of Mt. Everest is shriveling. Get ready to ascend.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
Have
you been lusting after spiritual traditions other than your own? Have
you been fantasizing about cheating on the deity you’ve always been
faithful to, and seeking a taboo liaison with a strange and exciting god
from another part of reality? If so, Virgo, that’s a good sign. I
suspect you could use a few adjustments to your familiar relationship
with the Divine Wow. After all, you have gone through a lot of changes
since the last time you hammered out your definitive theories about the
meaning of life. What made good sense for you back then can’t be
completely true for you any more. So feel free to let your mind wander
in the direction of holy experiments.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
When
a girl is born, her ovaries already contain all the eggs she will ever
have. What this means, of course, is that a part of you was in your
grandmother’s womb as well as in your mother’s. Now would be an
excellent time to celebrate that primal fact. Your connection with your
mother’s mother is especially important these days. I suggest you
meditate on what gifts and liabilities you received from her (genetic
and otherwise), and how you might be able to make better use of the
gifts even as you take steps to outwit the liabilities.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
Who
is the person most unlike you in the world? I suggest you study that
person for tips on how to improve your life. What are the healthy
experiences you are least attracted to? You might want to meditate on
exactly why they’re so unappealing, and use that information to update
your ideas about yourself. What are the places on the earth that you
long ago decided you would never visit? I invite you to fantasize being
in those places and enjoying yourself. Can you guess why I’m calling
this Opposite Week, Scorpio?
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec.
21)
Are you in a trance or a rut or a jam? If so, excuse
yourself. It’s break time! You need spaciousness. You need slack. You
need to wander off and do something different from what you have been
doing. If there’s any behavior you indulge in with manic intensity, drop
it for a while. If you’ve been caught up in a vortex of excruciating
sincerity or torturous politeness, shake it off and be more authentic.
Of all the good reasons you have for relaxing your death-grip, here’s
one of the best: Life can’t bring you the sublime gift it has for you
until you interrupt your pursuit of a mediocre gift.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan.
19)
The state of Texas is a Capricorn, having become part of the
United States on December 29, 1845. At that time, it was granted the
right to divide itself into five separate states at some future date. So
far it hasn’t chosen to do so, and I would advise it to continue that
policy. I extend the same counsel to all of my Capricorn readers. From
an astrological perspective, this is not a favorable time for you to
break yourself up into sub- sections. On the contrary: I suggest you sow
unity and solidarity among your various parts.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
I’m all for recycling, composting, and carpooling. Anything you
and I can do to reduce our carbon footprint is brilliant. But I also
agree with author Chris Hedges, who says, “The reason the ecosystem is
dying is not because we still have a dryer in our basement. It is
because corporations look at everything, from human beings to the
natural environment, as exploitable commodities. It is because
consumption is the engine of corporate profits.” So beyond our efforts
to save the earth by adjusting our own individual habits, we’ve got to
revise the way corporations work. Now let’s apply this way of thinking
to the specific personal dilemma you’re facing right now: It’s important
for you to change yourself, yes - and I’m glad you’re taking
responsibility for your role in the complications - but you will also
have to transform the system you’re part of.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)
Every
year Americans fork over six times as much money on buying lottery
tickets as they do on going to the movies, according to the documentary
film Lucky. Yet many people who actually buck the improbable odds regard
their “luck” as a curse. “Winning the lottery is like throwing
Miracle-Gro on all your character defects,” said one person. Let this
serve as a cautionary tale for you in the coming months, Pisces. To get
ready for the good things that are headed your way, you should work to
purify any darkness that’s lurking in your unconscious.
ARIES (March 21-April 19)
Hip-hop music definitely needs to include more tuba playing. I think that’s what’s missing from it. Likewise, the sport of skateboarding would benefit from having more dogs and monkeys that can master its complexities; the state of journalism could be improved by including more babies as reporters; and you Aries folks would significantly upgrade your life by learning how to play the game of cricket. (If you believe everything I just said, you’ll be equally gullible when a little voice in your head tries to convince you to seek out things you don’t really need or adopt behavior that doesn’t suit you.)
Go to RealAstrology.com for Rob Brezsny’s expanded weekly audio horoscopes and daily text-message horoscopes. Audio horoscopes also available by phone at 877-873-4888 or 900-950-7700.