Eight things on Mitt Romney’s tax returns he doesn’t want you to see:
8. He owns several Los Pollos Hermanos restaurants that mysteriously went out of business last year.
7. He annually writes off $20,000 in “humanoid training.”
6. Three of his residences are listed as “Sexy Ranch I,” “Sexy Ranch II” and “Planet Willard.”
5. He spent most of 2009 following The String Cheese Incident on tour.
4. There’s an estranged sixth Romney son: DJ RomDrive, who spins nightly at the SugarBush strip club in South Boston.
3. He owns the Internet domain names RomneyRocks.biz and Nobama.net.
2. The location of the warehouse where he stores hundreds of snap-on hairpieces.
1. He signs documents as “Mitts” just so he can use “$.”
