Eight more awards for Barack Obama to follow up his Nobel Peace Prize:

8. A Grammy for his duet with Beyonce, "Keep It Tight (Like My Comprehensive Health-Care Plan)".

7. A "Come to Where the Flavor Is" track suit for collecting 100,000 Marlboro Miles.

6. A Best Supporting Actor Emmy for his walk-on role in Californication.

5. An honorable mention in the White House´s "How Obama Has Saved the Known Universe" essay contest.

4. A Best Sassy Strut trophy from the Handsome Boy Modeling School fall pageant.

3. A participation ribbon from the United Nations.

2. A free meal for finishing a 72-ounce steak in 20 minutes at the Cow-abunga Palace.

1. A Pulitzer for Outstanding Achievement in Liberal Media Bias (First Quarter).

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