My Senator's First Time | Staff Box | Salt Lake City | Salt Lake City Weekly
We need your help.

Newspapers and media companies nationwide are closing or suffering mass layoffs since the coronavirus impacted all of us starting in March. City Weekly's entire existence is directly tied to people getting together in groups--in clubs, restaurants, and at concerts and events--which are the industries most affected by new coronavirus regulations.

Our industry is not healthy. Yet, City Weekly has continued publishing thanks to the generosity of readers like you. Utah needs independent journalism more than ever, and we're asking for your continued support of our editorial voice. We are fighting for you and all the people and businesses hardest hit by this pandemic.

You can help by making a one-time or recurring donation on PressBackers.com, which directs you to our Galena Fund 501(c)(3) non-profit, a resource dedicated to help fund local journalism. It is never too late. It is never too little. Thank you. DONATE

News » Staff Box

My Senator's First Time

by

comment

For their first alcoholic drink ever, what would you serve Sens. Waddoups and Valentine?

Austen Diamond:
A flaming Dr Pepper—and I wouldn’t tell them it is the most vile drink on Earth. Why anyone would chug a Dr Pepper, let alone an alcoholic tastealike, befuddles me as much as those two senators’ beliefs do.

Rachel Scott:
I would serve them the I-Got-So-Hammered-That-I-Realized-the-Error-of-My-Ways-and-Became-a-Progressive-Liberal martini.

Bryan Bale: They can’t even make good decisions when they’re sober. Why would we trust them with alcohol? Unless we could arrest them for legislating while intoxicated ...

Becca Andrus: First of all, I do not believe this would be their first drink ever. I will play along, though and serve them both a tall Belvedere tonic (a double, of course).

Kolbie Stonehocker: A High West whiskey sour.

Rachel Piper: I imagine they’re already breaking the word of wisdom and battling Diet Coke addictions, so a nice rum & coke would easily get them hooked on booze.

Scott Renshaw: As someone who recently dove into a beverage that’s not necessarily easy to embrace at first, I don’t think the “dipping your toe” approach works. All in or all out: Just a straight shot of Jack Daniels.

Dan Nailen: Keystone Light. Why waste something good?

Paula Saltas:
Screaming Orgasm. Use cheap vodka so the Baileys will curdle.

Erik Daenitz: I would mix them up a Grand Hoochie Skank Rosé.