Eight positive outcomes of an NBA lockout for the entire 2011-12 basketball season:
8. Fans will realize that millionaire players and owners don’t care about them.
7. Players can focus more on side careers like terrible hip-hop, sketchy entrepreneurialism, banging reality TV stars and being role models.
6. Fans will maybe realize that millionaire players and owners don’t care about them.
5. The Utah Jazz Bear will return to his true calling: working furry parties.
4. Sometime around January, fans just might figure out that millionaire players and owners don’t care about them.
3. Sports columnists will have to find real work, like making snarky lists.
2. Surely by the time March Sadness rolls around, fans will know that millionaire players and owners don’t care about them.
1. Fans will be even more pumped-up to buy tickets for the 2012-13 NBA season.
