1. Being lectured about your parents is about as fun as being lectured by your parents.

2. The secret handshake is not nearly as cool as the one you and your buddies came up with.

3. By waiting until 18 to get baptized, at least you'll have some solid sins under your belt.

4. You can avoid the Mean Girls who always say you can't pray with them.

5. Being the god of your own planet is pretty lame if your parents can't visit for the holidays.

6. "I Am a Child of God (Now That I'm of Legal Age)," doesn't really have the same ring to it.

7. Spending less time with scriptures means more time with T. Swift on Twitter

8. Your now-defunct missionary fund will buy lots of iPhones.

9. You won't have to worry about supporting a family before you've hit legal drinking age.