Eight possible reasons the Obamacare website doesn’t work:

8. Animated GIFs on opening page, “175 Ways the GOP Can Suck It,” are slowing load time.

7. The White House can’t get ahold of anyone at GeoCities customer service.

6. The site needs to gather all of your information in order to send a drone, uh, physician to your house.

5. Building a ’Merican socialist utopia means using freeware, so …

4. Odds were that Fox News would be right about something eventually.

3. Have you tried restarting your computer?

2. Seriously, Rob—IT is not your damned personal on/off switch. Figure it out!

1. After the stellar performance of all other government websites, your expectations are unreasonably high.

Twitter: @Bill_Frost