9. Cracking down on pun laws.
8. Making Twitter etiquette a required class in all elementary schools.
7. Outlawing vertical video recording without prior written permission.
6. Raising the minimum wage to include a Netflix subscription.
5. ...and a federal ban on any technology similar to the service's 'Are you still watching?'
4. Changing the country's bird from the majestic eagle to Yeezy boost 350's.
3. The national anthem replaced with Cake's hit, "The Distance"
2. Stricter Nerf regulations.
1. Mass neutering of TruckNutz.