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Ratings Blowout

Eight “breaking” local TV “news” stories for May sweeps.

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8. “Is your smart TV spying on you? Put down the Activia and pay attention, Gladys.”
7. “Building a wall around Sugar House: Our full report at 10.”
6. “You voted, we listened: Meteorologist Ashley goes under the knife for breast implants, live at 5!”
5. “Coming up: Which elderly LDS Church leader just died? The answer probably won’t surprise you in the least.”
4. “Hook, Line & Blinker: Are cars with turn signals actually sold in Utah? A six-part investigative report.”
3. “The Final Solution: The Mayor’s new green initiative for composting the homeless, tonight at 9.”
2. “KUTV Krazy Korner: We read emails from our most unhinged, racist viewers word-for-word, right after this.”
1. “How will the American Health Care Act affect you? You might already be dead after this break.”

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