Eight e-mails you’ll be receiving from parents and relatives on Thanksgiving Day:
8. “FW:FW:FW: Sign the Petition to Secede from Hussein Obama’s Socialist America Before It’s Too Late!”
7. “We love you, but your lack of an NFL package is a deal-breaker. Maybe next year.”
6. “Whatever you do, don’t ask grandma about her Hoarders episode.”
5. “I’ve just uploaded 280 turkey-preparation pictures to my Pinterest page, FYI.”
4. “Please remember to vote tomorrow … Sincerely, Mia Love”
3. “Surprise! We’re having dinner catered by Papa John’s!”
2. “Would you please give your mother a ride to the iTunes Store tomorrow?”
1. “Why can’t you just write a cute Thanksgiving column like that funny Robert Kirby?”
