I try; truly, I do. I try to convince myself that a micro-budget affair like this—built entirely around putting rescued animals on camera, and giving them goofy voices—is well-intentioned, intended to appeal almost exclusively to pre-schoolers, and maybe raise awareness for taking in rescued pets. That’s a nice notion. But the movie surrounding that notion is virtually unwatchable, a formulaic tale in which scruffily handsome Tracy (Paul Haapaniemi) has to save his beachside breakfast restaurant from an evil developer who wants to bulldoze it for a golf course. There’s a misunderstandings-fueled romance, naturally, involving a sweet dancer (Courtney Daniels), and outsized performances of every other character (including screenwriter Jordan Rawlins as Tracy’s loopy brother). Mostly, though, there’s talking animal—well, at least thinking animal—nonsense that’s never funny, and seemingly edited into the narrative almost at random, building to a conclusion in which dog farts literally save the day. Good intentions don’t change the fact that you still need to pay money for a ticket—and for that money, you should expect at least basic competence. By Scott Renshaw