Twelve years ago, I was faced with an unwanted pregnancy after a brief affair while my now late husband and I were separated [“Pregnant Pause,” Aug. 12, City Weekly].
I had choices, and luckily knew that. I thought the best thing would be an abortion, since I was already fighting the state for custody of my two young boys. I went to a clinic where they took me to another clinic in San Francisco. I knew that I was about eight weeks along, but it just didn’t dawn on me at the time. I sat in a waiting room of a bright and cheerful abortion clinic, waiting to be seen along with other expectant mothers.
I wanted so badly to find a way out. I heard my name called and was whisked into a room where an ultrasound was performed. To this day, I don’t know what my decision would’ve been had they not given me the ultrasound. I found out I was farther along than I thought, and I was having a girl. Oh, my God! I already had three boys and desperately wanted a baby girl. I knew I wouldn’t be able to raise her, but I wanted her so much. I decided I couldn’t do the abortion. They were obviously very disappointed and, I felt, angry with me. I didn’t care, because I was having the girl I had wanted since the first time I had found out I was having a boy.
I went back to the town I lived in and walked over to the adoption agency and got hooked up with the social worker. She was fabulous. She spoke to me about my choices and the possibility of losing my boys to the state. She was very compassionate and understanding. We found a family quickly and met them, and I instantly fell in love with them. They adopted my daughter from birth, straight from the hospital. I know she has a good home with a family that loves her more than anything else, and I also know that God was on my side that day giving me the resources I needed to place her with a loving family.
Someday, I will have to explain my decision to my daughter. When I do, I can be proud to tell her that I chose to give her life instead of death—a family life that I could’ve never given her. Now, that is the purest truest form of love.
SharonAnne “Shari” Wade
Salt Lake City