8. "Captain Cargo Shorts"
7. "Sexy Chemtrail"
6. "Guy in The Cure Who's Not Robert Smith"
5. "SEO Consultant"
4. "Hipster Who Insists the Term 'Hipster' is Passe"
3. "Sexy Bacon Strip(per)"
2. "Afternoon Drunk"
1. "Adult Who Doesn't Have Time for This Nonsense Because This Country's Going to Hell in a Handbasket While You Dress Up Like a Whore, Young Lady"
