Holly Mullen: Be big, be brave, be radical. And count the silverware before the Bushes leave!
nJeremiah Smith: Yeah—seriously, don't fuck up. Everyone is watching.
nLarry Carter: Yeah. Run, Barack, run.
nMatt Engle: He should start using smokeless tobacco instead of smoking. Then he could get his nicotine fix inside the oval office.
nTracey Stout: Don’t screw anyone.
nJennifer Nixon: Duck and cover, and stay away from the windows.
nJames Burnitt: Listen to the people, not the turds in the House and the Senate.
nJulie Erickson: Keep working hard for the people. Most importantly, never lose that go-get-’em attitude that you've always had.
nScott Renshaw: You know that one bathroom in the West Wing where the toilet just seems to keep running? Jiggle the handle up, then down, then up again. That should take care of it.
nDerek Jones: I think all Obama needs to do is follow this rule of thumb: Ask himself what Bush and Cheney would do—and then do the opposite.
nBrandon Burt: Remember: If the neocons and the nutwing Evangelicals had anything to offer, the economy would be doing just fine and it would be Mike Huckabee getting inaugurated Tuesday.
nJayne Pedersen: Stay true to yourself. Keep buying your own groceries and playing basketball. Thanks for restoring my faith in our government! Don't let me down.
nNick Clark: Remove all the skeletons from the closets before moving your stuff in.
nBill Frost: That flaming bag of dog poop you’ll find on the White House doorstep Jan. 21? Probably from Dubya.
nPaula Saltas: My shoe closet could use a federal bailout. Look into that, OK?