Bryan Bale: My favorite is Simon Cowell. If I were to compete against him, I’d have to become an insulting prick. If my e-mail inbox is any indication, there are plenty of pills out there to help me become an even bigger one than he is. And I wouldn’t sing a song for him. Not even if he begged me to.
Stephen Matney: Barack Obama! Oh, wait …
Faith Burnham: I have never seen an episode of American Idol. And, yes, I brag about it!
Derek Jones: David Archuleta, of course, and I think something by Gary Glitter might be fitting.
Kathy Mueller: The Utah kid, of course! When I am home alone, just me and my karaoke machine, singing “Rapture” by Blondie, I am so good. That kid is just lucky I am too old to be an idol!
Nick Clark: My favorite is someone not from Utah. If we win another reality TV contest, the other states are going to get pissed.
Justin Healy: I actually think Simon should be a contestant. If he were, I would battle him with “Sweet Child o’ Mine” by Guns N’ Roses. Suck it, Simon.
Chelsea Booker: My favorite is Ramiele Malubay—she’s the hot little Asian one. Instead of competing against her, I would request that she and I compete together. I think we’d be quite the dynamic duo. Song of choice: “Barbie Girl” by Aqua.
Nathan R. Levinson: I am wholly out of the Idol loop, but it doesn’t matter whom I faced. I’d slay it with “Sexual Healing” a la Nate.
Doug Kruithof: Not a big fan of the show, but I must say, I’d love to compete against Bill Frost to replace host Ryan Seacrest—Bill’s probably the only person who despises Seacrest more than I.
Derek Carlisle: Sundance Head, for the name alone, should win! And in a vocal battle, “I Got You” by James Brown would be my weapon of choice.
Paula Saltas: Our own Murray High School Spartan, David Archuleta. He is adorable and humble. He and I can sing a duet: “I Got You, Babe.” Simon’s eyes will really roll.
Brandon Burt: I don’t know, but I’ve got a shirt all picked out.
