Staffbox | Any birthday wishes for John Saltas? | News | Salt Lake City | Salt Lake City Weekly
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Staffbox | Any birthday wishes for John Saltas?

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Private Eye columnist John Saltas turned another year older on Dec. 11. Do you have any advice or birthday wishes for him?

Susan Kruithof: Bring back the daily Hawaiian shirts and start drinking chiladas again. It’s cold outside, and the fond memories will warm my soul.

Nathan R. Levinson: I both wish for and advise John to have a hot time in the old town tonight with his lovely wife. Happy birthday, Captain!

Justin Healy: Do not let Tyler Bradshaw give you birthday “spankings.” Totally not worth it.

Nick Clark: Stop counting.

Jeff Reese: Invest in Depends … I hear that they are very expensive and you never know when you might start needing them.

Emily Prachthauser: He’s a Sagittarius like me, so he’s already light-years ahead of any other sign. We Sags are very strong-willed beings. So any advice others may give probably won’t matter, ’cuz we do what we want! Power to the Sag! Woot woot!

Suzie Broshous: Botox. I hear metrosexuals do that.

Bryan Mannos: A nice piece of fish and a bottle of Ouzo. ’Nuff said.

Bill Frost: Happy birthday, and don’t punk out like Dick Nourse and Michelle King. We don’t have the budget to hire the Jazz Bear for a farewell party. Grizbee, maybe ...

Jeremiah Smith: Frequent as many places that allow you to smoke indoors as you can. Next year, the state will take that away.

Derek Jones: Live it up, baby! You ain’t getting any younger.

Jamie Gadette: Happy birthday, John! This year promises to be less rocky!

Andrea Moore: I wish him at least 50 more years of happiness. Happy birthday, John!

David Cook: Always remember, no matter your age, your wife is always right, and right there! And many more ...

Tyler Bradshaw: Keep your enemies close and a bottle of Tums closer!