Whom do you trust? Sloan or Kirilenko?

Faith Burnham: Who are these guys again? Seriously. Do they give out free candy? If they do, I don’t trust them, because Mom and Dad always told me not to trust people who try to give away candy …

Lindsay Larkin: I don’t care for basketball. Could you choose a new question related to Roger Federer or Hideki Matsui?

Valeri Tronier: What the hell are you talking about?

Jackie Briggs: Are they involved with basketball? I trust no one involved with ballin’.

Kathy Mueller: Sloan! I think the name Kirilenko sounds like one of them foreigners, and I don’t trust them foreigners.

Jennifer Van Grevenhof: Whatever Deron Williams thinks.

Benito Chacon: Of course we trust Sloan. Think about it: He is a good, old American boy with a John Deere hat. If there is one thing we have learned from the Cold War, it’s that we cannot trust those Russkies.

Blade Brown: Ask again later—I’m still questioning if I trust the name EnergySolutions Arena.

Natalie May: I vote Sloan! Why are we voting?

Holly Mullen: Uh, I trust Deron Williams. He stepped up and gave it right back to that crybaby Kirilenko. Go, Deron! Did I answer the question?

Nick Clark: I think it’s time to get past the Cold War (when Sloan started coaching for the Jazz) and go with the Russian.

Brandon Burt: The only zillionaire I trust is Bruce Bastian. The rest are all Republican whiners. Tax them into submission, I say!

Derek Carlisle: I never trusted a man who carries around Kleenex. Kirilenko should dry his eyes and go home.

Paula Saltas: I like Sloan. Kirilenko is a baby. Malone and Stockton thrived under Sloan, and Andrei can’t take the heat. Go back to Russia, Andrei.

Stephen Matney: Sloan. Anybody who can curse like that man and still make a name for himself in this state deserves my trust, most certainly.

Private Eye
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