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You are the editor of The Salt Lake Tribune. What columnists do you can and which do you keep?

Susan Kruithof: This question would assume that I read the Trib. I do not. They can can anyone they wish or hire anyone for that matter. Nothing would make me read that rag! Well, I used to read Holly Mullen.

Justin Healy: I think you keep Paul Rolly and Sean P. Means. I don’t know if the rest should be canned, but I really don’t read them.

Paula Saltas: I like Robert Kirby’s LDS humor. I wish his attitude would rub off on some of my neighbors. (Not you, Joanne Wells—yes, you can borrow a cup of sugar!)

Nathan Levinson: First off, if I were the editor, I’d be fired promptly for making too many changes. They might as well keep the same writing staff, since corporate/religious gatekeepers are really telling their stories.

Steve Matney: I am the editor of the Tribune. I’ll just ask Satan what he thinks. We’re good friends.

Nick Clark: The only person who I ever thought should be denied a print voice was Mary Brown Malouf. Since that bitchy food critic is done writing for the Trib, I’ll have to find someone else to complain about. Perhaps whoever keeps putting “Family Circus” in the Sunday funnies …

Annie Quan: I would can Mary Malouf. And give her a gift certificate to Chuck-A-Rama as a parting gift.
Jennifer Higgins: I’m ashamed to say it, but I get all my news from the Internet (and City Weekly, of course!) I know, I know: I’m only perpetrating the demise of newspapers all around the country—but can you blame me for not trusting the media anymore?

Brandon Burt: I usually take these opportunities to write snarky things about Robert Kirby but, in fact, that’s just due to my own personal issues: Years ago, when I had time to send nutjob e-mails to columnists, I sent a good-natured one to Kirby—something about Trent Harris and the Deseret Alphabet—and Kirby sent back a brusque, rude response. I’m over it now, though—really, I am …

Ted McDonough: I’d keep Paul Rolly. The Trib wouldn’t be the Trib without him.