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News » Staff Box

Status Quo

What statistic are you a part of?

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What statistic are you a part of?

Scott Renshaw: I am part of the 74 percent of Americans (only 74 percent), according to a Scientific American poll, who know that the Earth orbits around the sun. The other 26 percent believe it orbits around Glenn Beck.

Paula Saltas: I’m part of the 100 percent that believes I’m awesome. The group consists of me and whoever would still care to work here.

Jackie Briggs: 89 percent of adults worldwide believe Cher is God. I am among them.

Rachel Piper: I’m one of 2 percent of women who love Jay-Z and Agatha Christie in equal measure.

Kolbie Stonehocker: I belong to the 98 percent of left-handed people who are scientifically proven to be cooler than right-handed people, the 13 percent of cat lovers who only own one cat, the 3 percent of music fans who think Phantogram is overrated, the 46 percent of people who think hard-boiled eggs taste like gritty eyeballs and the 18 percent of people who get grossed out by grasshoppers.

Sarah Arnoff: I recently read that 23 percent of Americans did not read a single book in 2013. I’m not part of that statistic, so I guess I’ve got that going for me.

Colin Wolf: I’m one of the 98 percent who can’t stand people who ride their bikes on the sidewalk downtown, when all of Main Street is a damned bike lane. Come on.

Eric S. Peterson: According to my calculations, I comprise 100 percent of the demographic that thinks eating octopus at a value buffet is a good idea.