7. “And the Foot Locker Footie award for Best Instep Measurement goes to …”

6. “Do you wanna wear my Spalding corsage or not? We’re already late for the prom.”

5. “It’ll cost the birthday boy an extra $150 for me to actually shoot the ball.”

4. “All Jimmer Series™ tuxes from Mr. Mac feature tear-away pants.”

3. “Hey, I can see the temple from here …”

2. “When I’m looking to score off the court, I use Axe Body Spray.”

1. “Ladies, give a big bachelorette party welcome to your next dancer, Vanilla Shake!”