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Sugar Shock

Eight Halloween candies, explained.

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8. Tootsie Rolls: Lego turds
7. Whoppers: malted asbestos
6. Smarties: placebo Tums
5. Hershey’s Kisses: beginner butt plugs
4. Swedish Fish: Satan’s earwax
3. Skittles: diet Starburst
2. Jolly Ranchers: vodka garnish
1. Candy corn: Trump nipples

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