Eight fashion don’ts for this summer:
8. A man-thong in white or pastel; opt for darker, slimming colors.
7. A mismatched tube top/booty shorts/platforms combo; create a uniform look (preferably in animal print).
6. A basketball jersey that hits above the knee—swag low, playa!
5. A bra. For those more droopy than perky, see basketball jersey above.
4. An unpolished bedazzled T-shirt—ladies should be blinded from across the club.
3. The cargo shorts/wifebeater combo (lesbians at Home Depot excluded).
2. Socks with sandals but no mustache. Without the ‘stache, the To Catch a Predator look is incomplete.
1. Anything you see on the cover of this week’s issue.