8. Super secret, super cool tunnels underneath the city.
7. The drunk-tank floor can be quite soothing.
6. Stay cool by not following Gov. Herbert back on Twitter.
5. Wear sleeveless tops to church and take advantage of the icy sting of disapproval.
4. Relax in the din of rotating strangers behind the porta-potties at the Twilight concerts.
3. Collect beads of sweat accumulated from watching the gubernatorial election race and place into a mister fan.
2. Use your college rejection letters to make an umbrella out of your dashed hopes.
1. Finally buy that curiously cheap deep-freezer off KSL.
