I’ve somehow managed to find a pop-culture bubble for the past 30 years wherein I’ve never seen any previous comic-book/TV/movie incarnation of these characters, so forgive me if I’m missing the point when I ask: Aren’t these guys supposed to be fun? Director Jonathan Liebesman (Wrath of the Titans) cranks up a version of the sewer-dwelling, pizza-eating, katana-wielding, etc. reptiles in which they’re somehow connected to a bad guy’s plan for world domination, and intrepid young journalist April O’Neil (Megan Fox) is on the case. What follows takes off from the now-de rigueur 21st-century “gritty reboot” template, tossing in a little psychological trauma and apocalypse-scale stakes. But aside from one goofy extended set piece involving trucks and turtles sliding down what is apparently the only alpine ski venue within 20 minutes of Manhattan, there’s virtually no attempt to make this light-hearted enough to be appealing to kids, while it remains too stupid to be appealing to adults. And if you can’t figure out how to make silly entertainment out of sewer-dwelling, pizza-eating, katana-wielding, etc. reptiles, maybe you shouldn’t be making movies.
Director: Jonathan Liebesman
Producer: Michael Bay, Andrew Form, Brad Fuller, Galen Walker, Scott Mednick, Ian Bryce, Denis Stewart, Eric Crown, Napoleon Smith III and Jason Reed
Cast: Megan Fox, Will Arnett, William Fichtner, Danny Woodburn, Abby Elliott, Noel Fisher, Jeremy Howard, Pete Ploszek, Alan Ritchson, Minae Noji, Whoopi Goldberg and Tohoru Masamune
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles