Yeah, yeah, we have bad air. But you can't blame it all on polluters here in Utah—oh no. Smart people know that no matter what, you can always blame someone else. And it's true again—those nice folks at the Utah Petroleum Association and the Utah Mining Association hired consultants who figured out that a significant portion of ozone pollution along the Wasatch Front blows in from China. That's big because in 2018 the Environmental Protection Agency found that Salt Lake, Davis, Weber and Tooele counties did not meet federal ozone standards (as in: poisonous air).
In December, Uthe Guv and the brain-trust of the state Republican Party sent a letter to the feds explaining, like you would to a six-year-old, that it wasn't our fault Utah's air is so crappy. But oops, there was a snafu—the Utah Division of Air Quality (DEQ) said it could find no evidence of "significant international transport" of pollutants. Damn their eyes. Didn't they get the friggin' memo?
Well, there's more than one way to skin a cat. A plan was hatched to suck the DEQ into the Dept. of Natural Resources (which oversees mining and petroleum) and would, in effect, put the fox in charge of the hen house. It hasn't happened yet, but it is in keeping with our culture. What's more important, clean air or money?
10 Reasons Why the GOP Thinks Democracy Sucks
1—It's just such a hassle.
2—Majority rule doesn't work well with Trumpism.
3—There are certain people who are the wrong color to vote.
4—The Koch brothers and the DeVos family aren't really into it.
5—Most people don't know what's good for them, anyway.
6—Mike Lee told us the U.S. isn't really a democracy.
7—There really is no need for Democrats or a middle class.
8—The nation would be better off if Trump were president for life.
9—Protests for women's rights and Black Lives Matter are un-American.
10—Presidential debates are stupid; Don Jr. would inherit the throne.
Mike Lee: The Big Lie is a Big Lie—But Don't Tell
Oops, someone got caught with his trousers down and his big, butt crack showing. Utah Sen. Mike Lee knew the Big Lie was a Big Lie, according to a new book, "Peril," by Bob Woodward and Robert Costa. But when the brown stuff hit the blades, Lee was hiding under his desk.
According to "Peril," both Lee and South Carolina Sen. Lindsey Graham got tutorials from Trump advisors that purported to prove Trump's victory. But both senators, who are big Trump supporters, called it bunk. Biden had, indeed, won.
But as the storm gathered over the nation's Capitol leading up to Jan. 6, Lee and Graham said nothing publicly. After the failed insurrection, Lee even went on Fox News to say Trump deserved a "mulligan," for the failed coup.
Trump's blustery Jan. 6 speech included a litany of alleged stolen elections in swing states and ended this way: "And we fight. We fight like hell. And if you don't fight like hell, you're not going to have a country anymore... So we're going to, we're going to walk down Pennsylvania Avenue... We're going to try and give our Republicans the kind of pride and boldness that they need to take back our country," he said of his insistence that Biden's victory not be certified. Mulligan? Right. Mike Lee is a true American hero.
Postscript—That's it for another week here at Smart Bomb, where we keep track of Majorie Taylor Greene so you don't have to. The crazed gun-rights advocate comes from the Georgia hill country, where cooking meth replaced the good, old bootleg white lightning. Some say she suffers from fetal alcohol syndrome—or maybe she was bitten by a rabid bat.
Onward and upward: The U of U's Runnin' Utes finally won a football game Saturday and later that evening sophomore cornerback Aaron Lowe was shot and killed at a party. WTF! Gun rights? "[T]he right of shitheads to shoot people shall not be infringed." How about freedom from getting killed at a stupid party.
Quiz time: who is Blake Moore? No, he did not star with Bo Derek in the movie "Ten." He's the representative from Utah's First Congressional District. So check this: Liz Cheney, the Beelzebub of the GOP, will hold a fundraiser for Moore—one of only four House Republicans who refused to strip her from leadership after she voted to impeach Trump. Covid or not, face coverings are recommended.
And speaking of Beelzebub, members of the Satanic Temple protested at the Utah Capitol demanding the Legislature not outlaw abortion. If they can't sway Mormon lawmakers, who can? Hey Wilson, have you and the guys in the band been to the Satanic Temple lately? No, not the Nightmare on 13th Halloween haunted house. Never mind.
Historically, the Satanists were organized to rebel against repressive Christian groups and say they don't necessarily imply evil intentions. So guys, how about a little sympathy for the Devil:
Please allow me to introduce myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste
I've been around for a long, long year
Stole many a man's soul and faith
I was 'round when Jesus Christ
Had his moment of doubt and pain
Made damn sure that Pilate
Washed his hands and sealed his fate
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name
But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game
Just as every cop is a criminal
And all the sinners saints
As heads is tails
Just call me Lucifer
Cause I'm in need of some restraint
So if you meet me
Have some courtesy
Have some sympathy, and some taste
Use all your well-learned politesse
Or I'll lay your soul to waste
"Sympathy For The Devil"—The Rolling Stones