The Ocho | Vote, Utah! | The Ocho | Salt Lake City | Salt Lake City Weekly
We need your help.

Newspapers and media companies nationwide are closing or suffering mass layoffs since the coronavirus impacted all of us starting in March. City Weekly's entire existence is directly tied to people getting together in groups--in clubs, restaurants, and at concerts and events--which are the industries most affected by new coronavirus regulations.

Our industry is not healthy. Yet, City Weekly has continued publishing thanks to the generosity of readers like you. Utah needs independent journalism more than ever, and we're asking for your continued support of our editorial voice. We are fighting for you and all the people and businesses hardest hit by this pandemic.

You can help by making a one-time or recurring donation on PressBackers.com, which directs you to our Galena Fund 501(c)(3) non-profit, a resource dedicated to help fund local journalism. It is never too late. It is never too little. Thank you. DONATE

News » The Ocho

The Ocho | Vote, Utah!

by

comment
art6501widea.jpg


Eight sure-fire tricks to get Utah voters out to the Feb. 5 presidential primaries:

8.
The Jazz Bear shooting voter info pamphlets out of a T-shirt gun.

7. Voting booths placed at the end of buffet lines.

6. Complimentary “Pulling for Polling” massages, sponsored by Ron’s Rub & Tug.

5. Karaoke!

4. Free movie passes to that new Matthew McConaughey/Kate Hudson pile of crap.

3. Every 10th person gets an extra vote for Ron Paul, “Just for the hell of it.”

2. Wii-compatible electronic voting machines.

1. A two-drink minimum.

Tags