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Soccer & Beer

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Eight reasons to not sell beer at the new Real Salt Lake stadium:

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8. Nobody likes the sound of “Michelob Ultra Stadium,” anyway.

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7. Don’t need the extra revenue'they’re already getting your money, drunky.

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6. Slurred speech makes saying “Ray-al” without laughing even more difficult.

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5. You’ll have a really nice new parking lot to pound that 12-er of Bud in.

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4. Gatorz is open at 10 a.m.!

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3. Incongruous with proposed healthy menu of Xtreme Nachos and Quesadilla Kickers.

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2. It’s not an LDS thing; it’s a (RSL owner) Dave-Checketts-is-a-waaay-better-Mormon-than-(Jazz/Delta Center owner) Larry-H.-Miller thing.

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1. You don’t need beer to make soccer interesting … you need the hard stuff.

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