Eight ways for Salt Lake Real to raise money for a new soccer stadium without using taxpayer dollars:

8. Propose off-season rental of the stadium for swap meets, scrapbooking expos, gun shows and even the occasional sci-fi convention (desperate times, desperate measures).

7. Sell $1,000-per-month covered HOT lane passes so snooty downtown soccer fans will never have to actually see Sandy.

6. Finally make that tough corporate-sponsorship decision: “Hot Pocket Stadium” or “Wellbutrin Arena.nn

5. Organize a “Washington Generals”-style team of fired Rocky Anderson employees to play the Real in fund-raiser games in Pioneer Park.

4. Offer to store nuclear waste under the new stadium. Bonus: Glow-in-the-dark visibility.

3. When teams are scheduled to come to Utah, say, “Yeah, we’re remodeling right now'can we do it at your place?nn

2. Check out that Micron building in Utah County. Still plenty o’ room there.

1. Bet heavily on any team playing against Real for the rest of the season.