The Ocho | News | Salt Lake City | Salt Lake City Weekly

News

The Ocho

This is Bush Country

by

comment

Eight more strongly held Utah beliefs (President George W. Bush’s approval ratings here and in only two other states are above 50 percent, according to a New York Times poll):

nn

8. Local Carmen Rasmusen should have won American Idol: “She doesn’t really sing good'but she’s sweet and spir’chul.nn

7. Earthquakes are caused by Jesus bull-roping in heaven’s rodeo: “It’s in the Bible. Those seismo-tologists are fulla crap.nn

6. Homosexuality is caused by fluoridated water: “There were no gays before the ’40s. Think about it!nn

5. KSL 5 news anchor Dick Nourse will live forever: “If he doesn’t, they’ll just have’ta cancel the news.nn

4. Starbucks only sells hot chocolate: “They have coffee?nn

3. Electronic voting is the way to go: “You just push Control + Shift + R and it votes straight Republican.nn

2. And Sen. Orrin Hatch should be exempt from elections: “He’s obviously who the Lord wants in office.nn

1. The Utah Jazz will be in the NBA Finals again, sometime: “Uh … sure.

Add a comment