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News

The Ocho

This is Bush Country

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Eight more strongly held Utah beliefs (President George W. Bush’s approval ratings here and in only two other states are above 50 percent, according to a New York Times poll):

nn

8. Local Carmen Rasmusen should have won American Idol: “She doesn’t really sing good'but she’s sweet and spir’chul.nn

7. Earthquakes are caused by Jesus bull-roping in heaven’s rodeo: “It’s in the Bible. Those seismo-tologists are fulla crap.nn

6. Homosexuality is caused by fluoridated water: “There were no gays before the ’40s. Think about it!nn

5. KSL 5 news anchor Dick Nourse will live forever: “If he doesn’t, they’ll just have’ta cancel the news.nn

4. Starbucks only sells hot chocolate: “They have coffee?nn

3. Electronic voting is the way to go: “You just push Control + Shift + R and it votes straight Republican.nn

2. And Sen. Orrin Hatch should be exempt from elections: “He’s obviously who the Lord wants in office.nn

1. The Utah Jazz will be in the NBA Finals again, sometime: “Uh … sure.