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The Ocho

No fireworks for you!

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Eight reasons Rice-Eccles Stadium’s July 1 Freedom Blast Independence Day celebration'headlined by Sugarland and Bill Engvall'was cancelled due to low advance ticket sales:

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8. It was headlined by Sugarland and Bill Engvall.

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7. Again, headlined by Sugarland and Bill Engvall. Stadium or State Fair?

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6. Word got out that the over-regulated fireworks display would just be a few dozen spinners and snakes purchased at Wal-Mart.

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5. Like John Jacobs’ congressional run against Chris Cannon, it was foiled by Satan.

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4. No American Idols or conservative talk-radio hosts were involved'promoters shouldn’t have passed on Kelly Pickler and Michael Savage.

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3. Pioneer Day on July 24 is far more important to America. Just ask your bishop.

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2. The irony of paying $25-$50 to celebrate “freedom” in a stadium where you can’t drink or smoke was just too much.

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1. Independence Day is July 4. You can fool Provo with that Stadium of Fire, but not us!

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