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The Ocho

Utah gas prices go up by eight.

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Eight reasons Utah’s gas prices are higher than most of the country’s:

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8. Utah is always a few years behind the latest trend.

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7. Honest to Pete, KSL Newsradio’s Doug Wright will have nothing to whine about if prices drop.

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6. Saving a few bucks buying all those SUVs unequipped with turn signals is finally catching up with Utahns.

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5. Gov. Jon Huntsman Jr. needs a new hobby/cause now that his rock band has kicked him out for, ironically, refusing to pitch in gas money for the tour bus.

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4. Local TV stations have a crippling surplus of irate-fuel-pumping-consumers video footage to burn through.

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3. All of our local refineries must now comply with DABC standards.

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2. The economic future of hundreds of useless “Where to Buy Cheap Gas” Websites depends on it.

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1. What’s the matter? Don’t you support Our President anymore?

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