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The Yo-conomy

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There’s a new type of yogurt on grocery store shelves called Stimulus. Stimulus regulates your GI tract and helps to provide your body with the nutrition and calcium needed for healthy bones.

Stimulus, when combined with other healthy foods, has been proven to lower your heart rate and cholesterol, lose weight, fight diabetes and world hunger and, at the same time, helping to fix the financial mess we’re in.

In addition, Stimulus has been shown to create higher taxes, fiscal irresponsibilty, bankruptcy, indigestion and heartburn in some people. Stimulus should not be eaten with other yogurts like Activia, and should not be used for any other intended purpose.

So pick up a thing of a Stimulus today! You’ll be glad you did!

Jordan Taggart
Salt Lake City